Police State UK

Your papers please - or else.

A man was handcuffed, arrested and dragged before a court after falling off the settee with laughter while watching Have I Got News For You.

His downstairs neighbour heard the noise, you see, so she called the police thinking that there was some problem. Why she didn't call the medics when she thought he'd had some kind of seizure is unknown. Anyway, the police turned up at his door-

Prosecutor Alex Mann said the police went to ensure everything was all right and spoke to Cocker who was 'co-operative and relaxed' and he assured the officers everything was fine.

But that wasn't enough for the police- they then demanded his personal details and when he quite rightfully refused and then became "aggressive" this is what happened-

He was eventually disabled with parva spray through the gap and arrested.

Jonathan Taylor, defending, said: 'The officer accepts in his statement that he struck my client and then sprayed him again.

He was handcuffed and unceremoniously thrown into the back of a police van.

And he didn't just end up in a cell-

'I can't believe it - I was thrown in the back of a police van before being stripped naked and put in a cell.

'I was handcuffed behind my back and my ankles bound with plastic ties before six of them carried me to the van.

I guess there's no real violent crime on Britain's streets for the police to concern themselves with.

When he ended up in a police cell he was asking himself how all this had happened.

Because he had the temerity to refuse to act like a cowed sheep before the Only Ones. And the real kicker?

A police spokesman said Cocker became 'aggressive' towards the officers who feared for their own safety.

The spokesman said: 'Parva spray was used to stop any confrontation and was necessary to protect the officers and any members of the public who were around at the time.

'Within the circumstances, we feel we used reasonable force.'

That's odd- it sure doesn't sound reasonable to me.